A Different Perspective on Pregnancy

This post was written by my sister, Rebekah. It’s a beautiful story of God’s forgiveness, grace and love. Not every woman is thrilled to learn it’s positive when they take a pregnancy test but each one of those babies are blessings!

Rebekah and 3-day-old Emerson

I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant.  I had just started my sophomore year in college and it was a nightmare.  Not only was I pregnant, but I was not in a relationship with the baby’s father; this was not exactly an ideal situation.  I was so scared about what my parents and friends would think and say.  I think I was even more nervous about going to church pregnant and unmarried.  I told my parents and they were pretty supportive, upset of course, but supportive.  My mother and I did get into a few arguments and she said some things that really hurt my feelings, but I know she was just as upset about everything as I was.

So many people that I talked to acted like it was no problem at all.  “You can take care of it” or “just get it fixed” were common remarks and an abortion seemed to be a simple “solution” to the problem.  Even though my parents already knew I was pregnant it would be so easy for me to just tell them I had a miscarriage.  But I couldn’t do it.  I had never even considered having an abortion if I got in this situation and now that I was in it an abortion was certainly not an option for me.  I knew things would be hard and some people would think badly of me, but I had made the decision to have sex and this baby was not something I could just get rid of like it never existed.

Each month was difficult for me.  Often I felt like no one cared and that I was a loser and a screw up.  I kept wishing that things would go back to normal, but I knew that realistically this was my life.  I was going to be a single mom and I needed to prepare for it whether I wanted to or not.  During my pregnancy my relationship with the Lord actually improved.  I had been a Christian for several years, although I had made poor decisions on many occasions, but I felt like I was closer to the Lord than ever.  Even though I was in a bad situation I knew that everything would be ok and towards the end of my pregnancy I was actually happier than I had been in a long time.

Emerson Alexandria was born on Wednesday, June 17, 2009 at 9:54 am.  I couldn’t believe that this little bundle was actually my daughter.  It took a few months for me to realize that I was a mommy and the “unconditional love” didn’t set in for a couple months either.  I felt like something was wrong with me and that I wasn’t going to be a good mom.  After a while, however, I continued to fall more and more in love with my little girl.

Today I don’t know what I would do without her.  I love holding her in my arms and my favorite thing to do now is take naps with her lying on my tummy.  She has made me become a better person and has made me realize that I need to enjoy life and what I have and not take things for granted.  Although my situation is certainly not ideal and what God intended, I know that this happened for a reason.  I am so glad I made the decision to keep my baby and not “fix the problem” like I was encouraged to do.  Babies are not choices, they are a life.  We should not have the decision to terminate a life that God has created.  All people are “fearfully and wonderfully made,” and seeing how every person starts off as a baby, this applies to them also.  Emerson is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I know that every other baby can bring just as much joy as she has.

Celebrating Emerson’s First Birthday!

Rebekah is now 21 and is a wonderful mother to her little girl! She graduated with her Associates degree this past May and is starting classes in a few short weeks for her Elementary Education Degree. Emerson is 14 months old and into everything but such a blessing to our family!

40 Weeks

Yesterday was my due date! How exciting to have a baby in my arms! Paxton is so wonderful, we are so in love with our baby boy! We just sit and stare at him in awe!

We had a quick and easy labor and delivery and I’m recovering slowly but surely! I’m feeling better but far from back to 100%.

The past 40 weeks have been amazing, with a new person growing in my womb and finally being able to meet him. He is such a blessing from God and we are honored that God has given him to us for the next 18 years to raise into a fine young man!

39 Weeks

Yesterday marked 39 weeks and it was the first day that I really felt pregnant (you know achy back, unmotivated, tired & big)! I’m just thankful that I’ve made it this far with so much energy!

I’m really in awe that I’m at 39 weeks! I remember all the way  back in August when we found out thinking that April was forever away and then during September when I was dealing with morning sickness I didn’t know how I was going to make it through each day! Yet somehow it’s April already and we’re going to meet baby Paxton soon!

This past week has been good. I’ve felt great for the most part, getting out of bed is a bit trickier and a few nights I woke up about 6 or 7 times but I haven’t been unable to sleep which I’m so thankful for!

We went to the doctor on Monday and had a great visit (all except for the fact that I somehow gained 6 pounds…I think it was partially due to having a steak, mashed potatoes & 3 rolls at Logan’s before my visit, at least that’s what I’ll tell myself!) I was 70% effaced and about 1 centimeter dilated. We also scheduled to go ahead and induce on Friday (tomorrow!) My doctor induces after 39 weeks and doesn’t like pregnancies to go beyond 40 so we decided to go ahead and induce on the 16th (which is John David’s dad’s birthday and also my “due date” according to my calculations!) So unless I go into labor today, we’ll be going in at 6 a.m. tomorrow morning to have baby Paxton! (I know inducing is a controversial issue but we fully trust our doctor and are comfortable with our decision.)

I am dealing with mixed emotions at this point. Last night I had a brief moment of sadness because the realization that John David and I will no longer be “just us” hit me. I know things will change and many will be good changes but I will miss being able to tag along with him at work and just deciding to go do things at the spur of the moment. Even though I have some of those emotions, I’m so thrilled to finally meet this baby boy…I’ve been dreaming of being a mommy since I was 4 years old and playing mommy to my many dolls!

38 Weeks

I am now 38 weeks pregnant!! Wow…in less than 2 weeks we will meet our son!!

At our doctor appointment Monday I had lost 2 pounds and was about 1 centimeter dilated and my cervix was softening! Hopefully when we go back this coming Monday there will be much more progress!

Last Thursday and Friday I had horrible nights, I could not get comfortable, in fact I spent about half of Friday night in my recliner! Thankfully I’ve been sleeping well since then! Monday and Tuesday I was actually able to sleep in which was amazing! I have been waking up about 4-5 times every night this week to go to the bathroom, however once my head hits the pillow I fall right back to sleep and am comfortable so I have no complaints there! My back has hurt a little the past two days but it hasn’t been too bad!

Other than those small discomforts I feel wonderful, in fact I really can’t believe that I have only 2 weeks to go, I figured I would be miserable at this point but I’m not! In fact I don’t even waddle, can paint my own toenails, my ankles are normal and I have had very little swelling! It’s been a great pregnancy so far!

My belly has been contracting but nothing has been regular at all and it hasn’t been uncomfortable either. John David and I are anxiously awaiting the beginning of real contractions!

Our nursery is complete minus wall decorations (but I’m okay with that), the car seat and Paxton’s bag are in my car and we have our labor/hospital stay bag 85% packed!

Hopeful that my 39 week picture includes a baby boy…we’ll see!!

37 Weeks

I’m now full term!! It’s hard to believe that I am 37 weeks pregnant and we’ll have a baby in our arms in less than 3 weeks! We are getting more and more excited about Paxton’s arrival every single day!

We went to the doctor Monday, the baby’s head is down (which was the only thing I was concerned about!) I was not checked and he has not estimated Paxton’s weight (two questions that have been frequently asked!) He said he’ll check for dilation at 38 weeks…I go back this coming Monday and will be 37 weeks, 5 days so I’m not sure if he will check or not!

I feel good still! In fact, I’ve had a burst of craftiness this past week! I’ve been making things for Paxton! So far I’ve made a set of 3 cloth blocks, 3 burp cloths, a taggie blanket & 3 “pee pee tee pees“! I hadn’t made him anything so I was glad I had this energy for sewing! (I’ll soon be posting pictures of my projects!)

I’ve been told to expect contractions and my belly has been tightening occasionally but I have yet to experience any pain. The past two nights have been rather sleepless and my hips have been aching and I feel pressure on my pelvis (but I don’t experience these discomforts during the day!) I’m actually looking forward to the contractions picking up and going into labor at this point! I’m just so excited about meeting this baby boy!

My friend Jennifer sent us 5 personalized onesies for Paxton that we received yesterday! They are adorable:

We love these two FFA themed onesies! John David and I met through the FFA and we’re hoping that one of these days Paxton will love FFA too!!

And this one is my favorite! How adorable is that? He’ll be the cutest advertising for his mama’s blog!!

His nursery is finished (it is lacking wall decorations but I haven’t had much luck finding things that I really love!) Hopefully sometime this week I will give you a tour of the nursery!