Posted by Rachel on Jan 24, 2012 in baby, faith, pregnancy | 8 comments
This post was written by my sister, Rebekah. It was originally published in August 2010. Since Sanctity of Human Life Sunday was this 2 days ago, I thought this was fitting to share! It’s a beautiful story of God’s forgiveness, grace and love. Not every woman is thrilled to learn it’s positive when they take a pregnancy test but each one of those babies are blessings!
Rebekah and 3-day-old Emerson
I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant. I had just started my sophomore year in college and it was a nightmare. Not only was I pregnant, but I was not in a relationship with the baby’s father; this was not exactly an ideal situation. I was so scared about what my parents and friends would think and say. I think I was even more nervous about going to church pregnant and unmarried. I told my parents and they were pretty supportive, upset of course, but supportive. My mother and I did get into a few arguments and she said some things that really hurt my feelings, but I know she was just as upset about everything as I was.
So many people that I talked to acted like it was no problem at all. “You can take care of it” or “just get it fixed” were common remarks and an abortion seemed to be a simple “solution” to the problem. Even though my parents already knew I was pregnant it would be so easy for me to just tell them I had a miscarriage. But I couldn’t do it. I had never even considered having an abortion if I got in this situation and now that I was in it an abortion was certainly not an option for me. I knew things would be hard and some people would think badly of me, but I had made the decision to have sex and this baby was not something I could just get rid of like it never existed.
Each month was difficult for me. Often I felt like no one cared and that I was a loser and a screw up. I kept wishing that things would go back to normal, but I knew that realistically this was my life. I was going to be a single mom and I needed to prepare for it whether I wanted to or not. During my pregnancy my relationship with the Lord actually improved. I had been a Christian for several years, although I had made poor decisions on many occasions, but I felt like I was closer to the Lord than ever. Even though I was in a bad situation I knew that everything would be ok and towards the end of my pregnancy I was actually happier than I had been in a long time.
Emerson Alexandria was born on Wednesday, June 17, 2009 at 9:54 am. I couldn’t believe that this little bundle was actually my daughter. It took a few months for me to realize that I was a mommy and the “unconditional love” didn’t set in for a couple months either. I felt like something was wrong with me and that I wasn’t going to be a good mom. After a while, however, I continued to fall more and more in love with my little girl.
Today I don’t know what I would do without her. I love holding her in my arms and my favorite thing to do now is take naps with her lying on my tummy. She has made me become a better person and has made me realize that I need to enjoy life and what I have and not take things for granted. Although my situation is certainly not ideal and what God intended, I know that this happened for a reason. I am so glad I made the decision to keep my baby and not “fix the problem” like I was encouraged to do. Babies are not choices, they are a life. We should not have the decision to terminate a life that God has created. All people are “fearfully and wonderfully made,” and seeing how every person starts off as a baby, this applies to them also. Emerson is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I know that every other baby can bring just as much joy as she has.
Celebrating Emerson’s First Birthday!
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Posted by Rachel on Dec 27, 2011 in baby, pregnancy | 32 comments
Weston is definitely our surprise baby! With Paxton, everything was planned, we were trying when we got pregnant with him and he was induced according to our plan. With Weston, from the beginning he’s been a surprise! We weren’t planning on getting pregnant with him {although we were thrilled when we found out} and his entrance into the world was quite a surprise too!
I was due December 31 but hoping I’d be a day or two overdue so he’d be born in 2012 {Paxton was born in 2010 and I liked the thought of even birth years!} I just knew since he was my second baby that I’d be miserable around 32 weeks to the end of the pregnancy but I was wrong! I felt fabulous throughout the entire pregnancy, I had quite a bit of energy and I was still able to do everything as normal with Paxton {including putting a sleeping 20-month-old into his crib at 38 weeks pregnant!}
Since Paxton’s birth was so fast for a first time birth {5 hours from the time they broke my water and started pitocin until the time he was born}, I was convinced that my second baby would come quickly and one of my fears throughout this pregnancy was not making it to the hospital on time!
On Tuesday, December 20, I was 38 weeks 3 days pregnant and I had quite the day! I cleaned our home thoroughly, did some pre-Christmas de-cluttering and a lot of laundry! By the end of the day I was tired from all of the ‘nesting’. That night when I laid down to go to sleep, I felt what could best be described as a burrowing sensation. I could feel his little head moving further down. I had never felt anything like that with Paxton! I didn’t sleep very well that night and then Paxton woke up around 2 am and he slept the rest of the night with us. I had trouble sleeping, I kept tossing and turning and just couldn’t get comfortable.
Wednesday morning I woke up feeling really good especially considering the rough night I’d had. I did decide to take the day easy though since I didn’t want to do anything that could put me into labor, especially since John David was working late that night. Paxton and I stayed in our jammies well into the morning. I updated our finances, scheduling our mortgage payment so we wouldn’t have to worry about that on January 1! The day was pretty typical except for John David being gone all evening. I put Paxton down around 8:00 and I was feeling tired too so I decided to go ahead and get in bed after starting a load of diaper laundry.
I stayed up waiting for John David to get home and he finally arrived around 10. We stayed up talking and playing Words with Friends until 11:30. Once again I felt the burrowing sensation when I laid down. I was having an occasional contraction but they were typical Braxton-Hicks. I went to sleep fairly easily.
Between going to bed at 11:30 and 1:30, I woke up 2 or 3 times having a mild contraction. While I was having the contraction, I’d walk to the bathroom, pee and then walk back to bed and go back to sleep. They were slightly uncomfortable but nothing painful. After the contraction I had around 1:30 I was unable to get comfortable so I got out of bed, went to the bathroom again and then turned on my lamp.
I had another contraction at 1:40 and decided to start timing them since it was appearing that they were getting closer together. I had contractions at 1:40, 1:48, 1:54, 1:58 so they were very quickly getting closer together. I wasn’t incredibly uncomfortable as long as I was standing so I could sway my hips and move around with the contractions. I had a little bit of back labor with Paxton and these contractions were very similar, the contraction would start in my back and move around to my belly and my back hurt more than anything! I decided to run out to the laundry around 2 to run the final rinse on diapers and I came back in and my contractions were still 4 minutes apart.
I still wasn’t sure if I was really in labor or if it was false labor. I knew you were supposed to go to the hospital when contractions were 5 minutes apart but I really wasn’t in horrible, unbearable pain. Around 2:30, I woke up John David and started packing the hospital bags. I still wasn’t convinced I was in real labor even though the labor book we were referring to at this point indicated that I was in active labor. Finally, we decided it was labor and we needed to start really preparing to go to the hospital.
John David called my friend Ashley around 3:20 to see if she would come stay with Paxton. While we were waiting on Ashley, I was packing a bag for Paxton and gathering stuff for our bags while John David was loading the car. {I should add here that John David got the clean diapers out of the wash and hung them on the drying rack. I had been very concerned about leaving dirty diapers at home when I went into labor so this was a relief!}
Ashley arrived around 3:35 and we gave her a few instructions for Paxton and we left after I had a contraction while attempting to get into the car. At this point, contractions were 3-4 minutes apart and I had about 3 contractions which were so uncomfortable since I couldn’t move much. Riding in the car made the back labor even worse!
We arrived at the hospital around 3:30 and got a front row spot so I was able to walk in. We went into the registration room where I had 2 more contractions. After I was checked in, they sent us to a waiting area and I had 3 contractions which were very intense and I had the urge to push.
A nurse came out and we went to an admitting room where I changed into a gown through another contraction. I was checked and was dilated to 10 centimeters! I was wheeled into a delivery room while having contractions lying flat on my back which was so uncomfortable. At this point I also was fighting the urge to push.
We got into the delivery room and I was moved onto the bed. I was hooked up to a monitor at 3:58, had my blood drawn and an IV put in. At this point, I had an overwhelming urge to push and was begging to be allowed to push. The nurses kept telling me to just breathe through the contractions and not push because the midwife was not there yet. {I should add that this period of not being able to push was the worst part of the whole labor and delivery. My body was ready to do what it was supposed to do and trying not to was so hard!}
While waiting for the midwife to arrive, John David ran out to the car to grab our camera and while he was gone and as our midwife was arriving, I couldn’t fight the urge to push anymore. I pushed and my water broke. Then John David got back and the midwife was there and I was finally able to start pushing! It was such a relief to be able to push. It didn’t feel good nor was it easy but it was so wonderful to be able to do what my body needed to do.
I pushed about 4 or 5 times in a period of 5 minutes or less and Weston was born at 4:16 am! It was such a relief to feel him come out. I was so excited that I had delivered without any medication but a bit embarrassed at how loud I was while delivering him!
Weston weighed 6 pounds 14 ounces and was 20 inches long! {Paxton was 8 pounds 8 ounces, so he was considerably smaller!}
Unfortunately I did rip at the site of my old tear but thankfully it was only a second degree tear instead of a third degree which I had with Paxton. Finally, after stitches {which to me was almost worse than the delivery even though I had local anesthesia} I was able to hold him again and count his fingers and toes.
I unwrapped him for skin to skin and nursing, he latched on perfectly and started nursing right away, it was completely natural for both of us. It was amazing how much more confident I felt nursing him, I suppose 15 months of breastfeeding experience gives a mama confidence! After Weston finished nursing, we moved to our postpartum room around 6:30 am.
We’re still in disbelief that labor started at 1:30 and Weston was born at 4:16! That’s only 2 hours and 45 minutes of labor!
Around 2:30 that afternoon, John David went and got Paxton and brought him back to the hospital to meet his new brother and spend some time with us! He noticed Weston right when he walked in the room and was thrilled to see ‘baby’!
We’re adjusting well as a family of four. Paxton has not acted jealous of Weston and is taking his role as big brother quite seriously!
We feel so blessed that I had a quick and easy labor and delivery and we have another healthy and beautiful son!
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I’m sure you’ve noticed it’s been somewhat quite around here these past few weeks. Other than Our Financial Story and Cloth Diaper videos, there haven’t been any posts!
Honestly, this is a busy season in my life and unfortunately this blog has been neglected. Of course, my family always comes first so I think neglecting the blog for the sake of my family is just fine!
Somehow I’m already 30 weeks pregnant! This pregnancy is absolutely flying by and I suppose I’m in a bit of denial that in 10 weeks or so we’ll have another baby.
Hitting the 3rd trimester caused my energy level to decrease and I’ve been struggling a few weeks with this. I want to get things done, I feel like there is so much to do to prepare for this baby but I really just want to nap or sit and relax. Thankfully, I noticed a slight boost in my energy level over the past week! I’m hoping it stays a few weeks so I can get our home in order and feel somewhat organized before Weston arrives.
Another thing that has kept me busy, after realizing that two cribs, a dresser and a changing table were not going to fit in the nursery, I had the brilliant {or crazy} idea that we’d do some room swapping. So, after talking it over for a few weeks with John David, we decided that we’d move into the master bedroom that was formerly the office/guest room. We moved the nursery to our old room and the office/guest room to the former nursery. Basically we moved, just within our house. We did the major rearranging just last night and still lack some settling in, organizing and decorating but I’m looking forward to some of these little projects!
Of course Paxton has kept me incredibly busy too! He was 18 months last week and is so much fun. He’s learning so much and turning into such a little boy and he has quite the personality {and style…he loves shoes, especially his boots!} I’m savoring our days together, just the two of us since I know they’re numbered. I’m taking time to snuggle and play and give him my undivided attention since I know things will never be the same. This is definitely a bittersweet thought. Just last week he fell asleep while we were reading and I just held him {and then fell asleep myself!} He also has wanted to be rocked the past two nights before bed and I just savored every moment of it.
I’m hoping to share some of my organizing and baby preparations during the course of the next few weeks! Right now we’re planning on building some shelving in our closet, I’m going to be organizing the boys closet and dresser and hopefully figure out a good baby clothing storage system {right now all the newborn-18 month clothes are in one large tub that won’t fit in the closet!} I’m also trying to decide the right number of cloth diapers we need for two and the best diaper pail for us! And of course, some simplifying around our home since I’ve found that the less stuff we have, the easier our home is to maintain and keep clean.
Thank you for continuing to read even through the times when I’m not posting much! I’m so blessed to have such amazing readers!!
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“At six weeks postpartum, your body is almost back to normal, you’re feeling great, and you can resume being intimate with your husband.”
Before giving birth, I believed this! I really thought 6 weeks was the magic number.
After giving birth to an 8 pound 8 ounce baby boy which resulted in a third degree tear, healing was slow! I remember waking up exactly one week after my son was born and I was hardly able to move and wanted to cry as I was getting out of bed. Thankfully, that was the worst of it and I started progressively getting better after that day but why didn’t anyone tell me that the pain would last over a week!
Continue reading at Amy’s Finer Things where I’m guest posting as part of her Why Didn’t Anyone Tell Me? series.
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