Pregnancy from the Eyes of a Single Mama

This post was written by my sister, Rebekah. It was originally published in August 2010. Since Sanctity of Human Life Sunday was this 2 days ago, I thought this was fitting to share! It’s a beautiful story of God’s forgiveness, grace and love. Not every woman is thrilled to learn it’s positive when they take a pregnancy test but each one of those babies are blessings!

Rebekah and 3-day-old Emerson

I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant.  I had just started my sophomore year in college and it was a nightmare.  Not only was I pregnant, but I was not in a relationship with the baby’s father; this was not exactly an ideal situation.  I was so scared about what my parents and friends would think and say.  I think I was even more nervous about going to church pregnant and unmarried.  I told my parents and they were pretty supportive, upset of course, but supportive.  My mother and I did get into a few arguments and she said some things that really hurt my feelings, but I know she was just as upset about everything as I was.

So many people that I talked to acted like it was no problem at all.  “You can take care of it” or “just get it fixed” were common remarks and an abortion seemed to be a simple “solution” to the problem.  Even though my parents already knew I was pregnant it would be so easy for me to just tell them I had a miscarriage.  But I couldn’t do it.  I had never even considered having an abortion if I got in this situation and now that I was in it an abortion was certainly not an option for me.  I knew things would be hard and some people would think badly of me, but I had made the decision to have sex and this baby was not something I could just get rid of like it never existed.

Each month was difficult for me.  Often I felt like no one cared and that I was a loser and a screw up.  I kept wishing that things would go back to normal, but I knew that realistically this was my life.  I was going to be a single mom and I needed to prepare for it whether I wanted to or not.  During my pregnancy my relationship with the Lord actually improved.  I had been a Christian for several years, although I had made poor decisions on many occasions, but I felt like I was closer to the Lord than ever.  Even though I was in a bad situation I knew that everything would be ok and towards the end of my pregnancy I was actually happier than I had been in a long time.

Emerson Alexandria was born on Wednesday, June 17, 2009 at 9:54 am.  I couldn’t believe that this little bundle was actually my daughter.  It took a few months for me to realize that I was a mommy and the “unconditional love” didn’t set in for a couple months either.  I felt like something was wrong with me and that I wasn’t going to be a good mom.  After a while, however, I continued to fall more and more in love with my little girl.

Today I don’t know what I would do without her.  I love holding her in my arms and my favorite thing to do now is take naps with her lying on my tummy.  She has made me become a better person and has made me realize that I need to enjoy life and what I have and not take things for granted.  Although my situation is certainly not ideal and what God intended, I know that this happened for a reason.  I am so glad I made the decision to keep my baby and not “fix the problem” like I was encouraged to do.  Babies are not choices, they are a life.  We should not have the decision to terminate a life that God has created.  All people are “fearfully and wonderfully made,” and seeing how every person starts off as a baby, this applies to them also.  Emerson is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I know that every other baby can bring just as much joy as she has.

Celebrating Emerson’s First Birthday!

9 Replies to “Pregnancy from the Eyes of a Single Mama”

  1. As someone who has been unable to carry a pregnancy to term, I applaud you for cherishing your baby despite the un-ideal situation. Every baby is a blessing and is priceless.

    May God give you strength through all the lonely days.

  2. What a beautiful story! That's so wonderful your sister is willing to share! I see a lot of single mom's in what I do and it's great to hear such a powerful, happy story. I'd love to hear an update of how she's doing! I have my moments where I find parenting difficult and I have a fulltime partner to do it with, what a strong woman she is. Also I'm not sure if I've had a chance to comment on other posts. I love seeing Weston and Paxton together. I am sooooo aching to have our next one! Congrats! You are doing an amazing job.

    1. Rebekah is now married and now has a 8 month old baby girl and is doing very well! And I cannot imagine being a single parent, those nights that John David is a few hours later than usual getting home are so hard and it makes me remember there are mamas out there doing it all alone. Having two kids is so heartwarming, I love watching Paxton interacting with Weston and we're so looking forward to when Weston gets bigger and can really start playing with Paxton!

  3. Both of you are beautiful. So glad that you share your story so that others might make the decision for life. It is a precious gift.

  4. Thanks for sharing this story. My daughter became pregnant at 19 and was not in a relationship with the young man. My grandson is almost 5 and doesn't know his "dad". It is hard but I know that he is truely a gift from God and a blessing to all. Being a single mom is tough but God is in control.

  5. Thank you for sharing your story! So many things that were said resenated with me and my situation as a single mama! This was definately worth sharing and passing on!

  6. Our daughter was pregnant at 18. I was devastated by the news. Abortion was never an option, as Christians. We raised our grandson for 2 1/2 years as our daughter earned her bachelor's degree. She graduated from Texas Tech at age 20 and is working as a Finance Manager. I wish that none of this had happened, but a completely innocent human life trumps all the circumstances. Our grandson will be a blessing to the world, as he has already been a blessing to his mother and grandparents.

  7. I, too, got pregnant at 19. My daughter will be 28 next month. Abortion was never a serious consideration, I didn't really have educational plans at that point and my parents were quite supportive, though my dad was not willing for me to live at home with my baby, because he feared the disturbance (he's not very kid-friendly – but in fact their neighbour had a baby 3 mths after me who cried night after night… while my daughter was good as gold!). Although I couldn't see any solutions at first, things worked out bit by bit – my mom and I didn't even know what babies wore, we had had nothing to do with babies in our environment!! Friends and neighbours helped out with the necessary items, some given, some on loan, I found an apartment very close to my parents, my dad helped me out with the cost of a small car, a charity supported me for a year and eventually, when my baby was 5 mths, I found a job with a company willing to take me on with only my knowledge of languages and my wits to show…
    I was really lucky to meet my husband, an old acquaintance, when my daughter was 7 mths old, but I was essentially a single mom for 6 years until my husband and I married and set up home to welcome our second daughter, and later, a third. How very lucky we have been, through ups and downs, and now together 27 years and married 21 years. My first daughter is married with two small children and busy with family, work and a fixer-upper house with her husband – I am immensely proud of her. My second daughter also chose to marry young, but is waiting to have children, as they are still both in school. My third daughter is 16. My grandchildren have a great-great grandmother, four great-grandparents, four grandparents and two parents – wow!!
    I am a homemaker and have a small business while my husband has had a successful career – anyone who is rude about a young woman getting pregnant and ruining her life may well be vastly underestimating the young woman in question!! Well done to Rebekah for forging ahead and taking up the challenge, I wish her much happiness.

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