The Lack of Togetherness

I have a desire to “have it together.” I’m not seeking perfection just balance and an organized and orderly life. Most of the time I have it mostly together but lately there has been a total lack of togetherness!

I suppose moving throws a big wrench in routine but it’s been nearly 2 months since we moved and I’m struggling with establishing any routine {other than sticking with nap times and bedtimes for Paxton.} And, my ability to get things done is really lacking!

I have this long to-do list of things that we need to do for our home. {And it follows me around like a dark cloud!}

We need to paint patio furniture, clean off our deck, paint all the doors in the house, build raised beds for our garden, hang up our clothesline and purchase a rug for Paxton’s room {just to name a few!}

I need to edit cloth diaper videos with my husband so we can post them here.

I need to meal plan consistently {if you noticed, I have dropped sharing a glimpse of our May grocery budget. Why? I’ve not meal planned in weeks and our grocery shopping has beenย sporadic!}

I need to set a date for a yard sale so we can get rid of about 1/3 of the stuff in our garage! {The yard sale stash is huge!}

I suppose we all have seasons where life just seems incredibly disorganized! {And when you add in an active and curious toddler it makes it even more disorganized!}

Honestly, many days I’m just amazed that I fed my family 3 meals, kept up with the laundry, washed diapers and managed to sweep the constantly dirty floors!

I’ve got it somewhat together when it comes to the bare basics of managing a home, it’s just all these other projects and a good routine that have me feeling behind and completely not together.

So, there’s a glimpse into my not so together life right now!

What about you? Do you feel a lack of togetherness or have you figured out some magic system of getting things done, staying on top of things and establishing routine? I’m open to I need suggestions!!

31 Replies to “The Lack of Togetherness”

  1. I have always made my child a part of what I do on a daily basis….laundry, dishes, organizing, etc. While to some this may seem chaotic, it actually allows me to get things done all the while our daughter thinks she has a playmate. I have her dust with me (if your child is younger, just give them a rag minus the cleaner), give her tasks, and make games out of daily routine.

    1. I'm actually beginning this too! Paxton always wants to play in the dirt when I sweep and is fascinated with the dust pan so lately I've been letting him help by "holding" the dust pan as I sweep into it (I hold onto it too but he's quite proud of himself!!)

  2. Flylady.net has help me tremendously keep the house and other daily activities on track! I would say definately you may want to check out the website. I have purchased several of their tools also and it is crazy how well they work better than the products I was using before.. Hope that helps some! I have a very active 3 1/2 year old boy and so I can understand what you are talking about. I love your blog and check t daily for inspiration! ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. I just wanted to say I'm right there with you! Also, my son has that big book of trucks too and I'm so amazed that he can tell me when he sees a combine harvester! We love that book!

    Does anyone really have it together? I've learned to be satisfied with clean clothes, 3 meals and no imminent danger.

  4. Thank you for your great website. I've been reading for a few months and I certainly hold many of the same philosophies. I think everyone at times feels disorganized and like things have gotten out of control. Moving certainly upsets that but the few times we have moved I typically do everything in my power up front to get things "normal" again. I find that when things get out of control it is because I am allowing things to take too much time, I am getting distracted, or that I am pursuing something that is not ultimately who I am deep down, or what we want our home to be about. I hope that makes sense. I say, cut it to the bare essentials and feel joy in that. Anything more is simply more.

  5. Go easy on yourself! I haven't found the magic wand to get it together (If you find one, please share!!) – but I do know that it will all get done eventually. I think moving with a toddler is enough to throw a wrench into someone's plans for MONTHS – I'm impressed that you have managed to do the basics on a regular basis!

    1. Thank you for your encouragement Bethany! I'm beginning to really realize that no one truly has it together and I just need to stop beating myself up and let the desire for perfectionism go!!

  6. If you discover a magic system, I would love to know =)
    Some days I just tread water when it comes to getting housework done–it will be only the essentials. It is during times like this that I despair of becoming more organized!

    1. I have those days too, days when I tell my husband I'm just glad I fed us, changed Paxton's diaper throughout the day and didn't go crazy!

  7. Its been three months since we moved in and with a 17 week old baby we are alll over the place! I have resigned to trying my best each day and trusting that God will mercifully send His grace to fill in where we are lacking. I hope thus is a consolation ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. I'm with you – currently suffering from a total lack of ability to get things done! I'm working on a plan to establish a good routine, so hopefully something will come of that soon! Good luck to you ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Sometimes it's nice to know I'm not the only one wanting so badly to have a routine and accomplish things but am struggling! Good luck to you also!!

  9. I know exactly how you feel but for some reason the more you think about it the harder it is to do!!… What I tend to do to keep on top of things is every evening when the little one's are in bed I will load the washing machine but not turn it on so that when I get up I can turn the machine on.

    1. I agree, the more you think about it, the harder it is to do! I finally sat down and wrote out this long to do list and that just really took some of the weight off!! It seems much more manageable!

  10. I also try to get up at least 1/2 hour before everyone else so I can take that time to reflect and organise my day and I get to prepare breakfast without any distractions. Then once I've packed my older children off to school I take some time to play with my younger children then whilst I do jobs I've set out for myself I leave them to have free playtime. The bigger jobs that need doing I leave until a saturday when myself and my husband are home we'll decided between us what jobs need doing first and do a couple each saturday. As for the meal planning I think of one each day and write it down then by the time the end of the week has arrived I have list of meals for the following week. Another thing I try to do is leave chores like ironing to once a week. In an ideal world everything would be done all at once but that's not going to happen I find If I'm happy and my family are happy that is all that matters:) but don't forget your little one is still very young and takes a lot of your time balance will happen in the end just enjoy your little boy because they sure do grow up fast!! Good luck.

      1. It's took a while to get organised and I still have weeks where nothing goes to plan hahaha ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. Rachel, lighten up on yourself. You have a toddler, you just moved, you are posting a blog. Give yourself a break. Take some time and space to get it together. The world won't come to an end if you don't get everything perfect in a snap. Take it easy on yourself and your family and all of you together will get the house organized as you go along.

    1. Thank you for those words of encouragement! You're so right, I do need to lighten up and give myself a little grace!

  12. Does anyone really have it all together? I think, most people make it look like they do, or maybe we just think they do. I do what I can when I can. And, yes it does drive me crazy when I feel so disorganized. Lately, I just can't find the time of work out my meal plan AND figure out the coupons. I think some of my disorganization is all of the clutter I feel we have. I have a great purge going on and this is even after a garage sale. Hopefully, that will help me find some peace!
    If you find the magic solution please do share. I too have tried flylady, and IF I could stick to it, then I suppose it would work. I have used here program before and it has helped, but sometimes I just can't get done what I planned.

  13. My mama, who has moved many times, tells me it takes her a year to really get moved in. When I get discouraged because my home is still not running quite smoothly, I remind myself that if it takes Mom that long to move in (after all her years of homemaking), I shouldn't be too worried.

    I do parts of FlyLady, which has helped me immensely. My big breakthrough in homemaking and routines came from adapting Money-Saving Mom's Daily Docket. I print a page for each day, with my main daily routine running down the middle of it, with space around it to write other projects in various categories. When I'm hopelessly overwhelmed with what to do next, I go to that daily routine list, do SOMETHING on it, and cross it off. Each night I throw that page away, so that I'm not constantly being reminded how much didn't get done. Just by doing that main list, my house stays mostly alright.

  14. No one ever does have it together; we could kill ourselves trying, right? Hang in there! I remember being so tired when Molly was Paxton's age. Every task was ten times harder/longer to complete! Once she hit 20 months, I found myself looking for stuff to do! ๐Ÿ™‚

  15. This is a great website! Although my husband and I don't have children, he owns his own business, I work full-time and am getting my doctorate full time as well. As another commenter posted, flylady.org is wonderful and has really helped me stayed managed and get back on track when I've been thrown off as well. BTW- we moved 2 weeks ago. Good luck!

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