A Different Perspective on Pregnancy

This post was written by my sister, Rebekah. It’s a beautiful story of God’s forgiveness, grace and love. Not every woman is thrilled to learn it’s positive when they take a pregnancy test but each one of those babies are blessings!

Rebekah and 3-day-old Emerson

I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant.  I had just started my sophomore year in college and it was a nightmare.  Not only was I pregnant, but I was not in a relationship with the baby’s father; this was not exactly an ideal situation.  I was so scared about what my parents and friends would think and say.  I think I was even more nervous about going to church pregnant and unmarried.  I told my parents and they were pretty supportive, upset of course, but supportive.  My mother and I did get into a few arguments and she said some things that really hurt my feelings, but I know she was just as upset about everything as I was.

So many people that I talked to acted like it was no problem at all.  “You can take care of it” or “just get it fixed” were common remarks and an abortion seemed to be a simple “solution” to the problem.  Even though my parents already knew I was pregnant it would be so easy for me to just tell them I had a miscarriage.  But I couldn’t do it.  I had never even considered having an abortion if I got in this situation and now that I was in it an abortion was certainly not an option for me.  I knew things would be hard and some people would think badly of me, but I had made the decision to have sex and this baby was not something I could just get rid of like it never existed.

Each month was difficult for me.  Often I felt like no one cared and that I was a loser and a screw up.  I kept wishing that things would go back to normal, but I knew that realistically this was my life.  I was going to be a single mom and I needed to prepare for it whether I wanted to or not.  During my pregnancy my relationship with the Lord actually improved.  I had been a Christian for several years, although I had made poor decisions on many occasions, but I felt like I was closer to the Lord than ever.  Even though I was in a bad situation I knew that everything would be ok and towards the end of my pregnancy I was actually happier than I had been in a long time.

Emerson Alexandria was born on Wednesday, June 17, 2009 at 9:54 am.  I couldn’t believe that this little bundle was actually my daughter.  It took a few months for me to realize that I was a mommy and the “unconditional love” didn’t set in for a couple months either.  I felt like something was wrong with me and that I wasn’t going to be a good mom.  After a while, however, I continued to fall more and more in love with my little girl.

Today I don’t know what I would do without her.  I love holding her in my arms and my favorite thing to do now is take naps with her lying on my tummy.  She has made me become a better person and has made me realize that I need to enjoy life and what I have and not take things for granted.  Although my situation is certainly not ideal and what God intended, I know that this happened for a reason.  I am so glad I made the decision to keep my baby and not “fix the problem” like I was encouraged to do.  Babies are not choices, they are a life.  We should not have the decision to terminate a life that God has created.  All people are “fearfully and wonderfully made,” and seeing how every person starts off as a baby, this applies to them also.  Emerson is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I know that every other baby can bring just as much joy as she has.

Celebrating Emerson’s First Birthday!

Rebekah is now 21 and is a wonderful mother to her little girl! She graduated with her Associates degree this past May and is starting classes in a few short weeks for her Elementary Education Degree. Emerson is 14 months old and into everything but such a blessing to our family!

14 Replies to “A Different Perspective on Pregnancy”

  1. Rebekah, thank you for sharing your story. I will admit that I have been a bit curious when I saw pictures of you and Emerson but no mention of a partner. I have goose bumps right now. Congratulations on your adorable daughter, and congratulations on graduating and starting classes to become a teacher!

  2. Thank you for your honesty and transparency. This was a great story. There will be someone out here who needs to hear this.

  3. Wow. What an awesome testament! I am so happy for you, Rebekah! And I thank you for your honesty about the "unconditional love " as well as opening your heart to us.

  4. What a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing it with us and congratulations on your accomplishments.

  5. What a great post! Sometimes when we "mess up" it does bring us closer to the Lord. It makes us more aware of our need for Him! She is a doll! The Lord has truly blessed you! Thank you for this great story!

  6. Thank you so much for your honesty and for sharing! One of my dearest friends growing up faced similar challenges and is now a preschool teacher, mother of three, and married! Thank you for choosing your baby's precious life over abortion and for being brave enough to share that choice with all of us! Best wishes to you!

  7. I enjoy seeing stories and pictures of sweet little Emerson and her brave mother! Best wishes to you both!

  8. Thank you for sharing. I am like you in some ways – I am unmarried and have a child who is 18 months old. I do have a realtionship with the father but it is far from stable (he is an alcoholic). Like you, she was never a choice. She is my child and she is here for a reason!

    I agree with you that being pregnant brought me closer to the Lord – despite the less than ideal situation. I became much more involved in a local church and felt like I was closer than ever to God and it was AWESOME! Last spring I was asked by the pastor's wife to no longer attend a mother's small group because it was intended for married mothers only which confused me because she was the one that asked me to join knowing I wasn't married! I have been working on the courage to join a new church now that we have moved but have yet to do it.

    Thank you for sharing and thanks to your sister for this blog and it's continued inspiration in my life to live a simple, Lord filled life. I hope you both have a great week!

  9. I know having kids without being married is a challenge! I had all three of my boys before their dad and I decided to be married. I never thought about not having my boys, but people made comments to me too. I was determined to make a life for myself and my kids. I was finishing school and it was hard, but it is totally worth it! Hang in there Rebekah! You will be stronger and better for having Emerson! Thank you for sharing your story!!

  10. Thank you so much for sharing your story and your honesty that came with it. Children truly are gifts of life and God blesses us in so many ways with them. Your baby girl is so precious- I wish you both the best!

  11. I've known your mom for years, from church. I never connected the dots to you, Rachel and this blog. Thank you for your truth. I was an unplanned arrival also. Unplanned by my parents, not God. I've often thanked God that my mom and dad chose life for me. And what a wonderful life it is. What a testimony we all are of His mercy and grace. Thanks for opening your heart to share. You never know who will read this and make critical decision.

  12. Emerson is gorgeous!! Motherhood is wonderful, even if it isn't your choice. Once you meet that baby (and even before), isn't it amazing to think that people abort? Breaks my heart.
    Thanks for sharing your story. I am so proud of you!

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