This post was written by my sister, Rebekah. It’s a beautiful story of God’s forgiveness, grace and love. Not every woman is thrilled to learn it’s positive when they take a pregnancy test but each one of those babies are blessings!
Rebekah and 3-day-old Emerson
I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant. I had just started my sophomore year in college and it was a nightmare. Not only was I pregnant, but I was not in a relationship with the baby’s father; this was not exactly an ideal situation. I was so scared about what my parents and friends would think and say. I think I was even more nervous about going to church pregnant and unmarried. I told my parents and they were pretty supportive, upset of course, but supportive. My mother and I did get into a few arguments and she said some things that really hurt my feelings, but I know she was just as upset about everything as I was.
So many people that I talked to acted like it was no problem at all. “You can take care of it” or “just get it fixed” were common remarks and an abortion seemed to be a simple “solution” to the problem. Even though my parents already knew I was pregnant it would be so easy for me to just tell them I had a miscarriage. But I couldn’t do it. I had never even considered having an abortion if I got in this situation and now that I was in it an abortion was certainly not an option for me. I knew things would be hard and some people would think badly of me, but I had made the decision to have sex and this baby was not something I could just get rid of like it never existed.
Each month was difficult for me. Often I felt like no one cared and that I was a loser and a screw up. I kept wishing that things would go back to normal, but I knew that realistically this was my life. I was going to be a single mom and I needed to prepare for it whether I wanted to or not. During my pregnancy my relationship with the Lord actually improved. I had been a Christian for several years, although I had made poor decisions on many occasions, but I felt like I was closer to the Lord than ever. Even though I was in a bad situation I knew that everything would be ok and towards the end of my pregnancy I was actually happier than I had been in a long time.
Emerson Alexandria was born on Wednesday, June 17, 2009 at 9:54 am. I couldn’t believe that this little bundle was actually my daughter. It took a few months for me to realize that I was a mommy and the “unconditional love” didn’t set in for a couple months either. I felt like something was wrong with me and that I wasn’t going to be a good mom. After a while, however, I continued to fall more and more in love with my little girl.
Today I don’t know what I would do without her. I love holding her in my arms and my favorite thing to do now is take naps with her lying on my tummy. She has made me become a better person and has made me realize that I need to enjoy life and what I have and not take things for granted. Although my situation is certainly not ideal and what God intended, I know that this happened for a reason. I am so glad I made the decision to keep my baby and not “fix the problem” like I was encouraged to do. Babies are not choices, they are a life. We should not have the decision to terminate a life that God has created. All people are “fearfully and wonderfully made,” and seeing how every person starts off as a baby, this applies to them also. Emerson is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I know that every other baby can bring just as much joy as she has.
Celebrating Emerson’s First Birthday!
Rebekah is now 21 and is a wonderful mother to her little girl! She graduated with her Associates degree this past May and is starting classes in a few short weeks for her Elementary Education Degree. Emerson is 14 months old and into everything but such a blessing to our family!